I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
