Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
