Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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