His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
