haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
