Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
