i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think your dad took our porno
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
