put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
