I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
