im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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