I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
