i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
