It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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