i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
