dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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