you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
