OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
