I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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