it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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