mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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