Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize