All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
