I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
