Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
