no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
