How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
