dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
