hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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