so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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