That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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