so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think your dad took our porno
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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