Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
