Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
