Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
