I just saw a hot homeless man
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
