Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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