every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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