Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
