he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
