My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
