I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
