hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize