Hey man sorry I got all grabby
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
