I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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