i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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