I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
