its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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