Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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