Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
