I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
