Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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