so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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