I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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