I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
