Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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