Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
