I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
