My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
