Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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