How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
