I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
