Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize